Oooh, nice one, Birdinand!

You know how sometimes, you're having a conversation with someone and you see the perfect opening for the perfect joke, and it spills out of your brain and onto your tongue like magic? The words just fit and it's an epic moment, and you want to laugh until your face hurts. The only problem is, your conversation partner was in seriousface mode, and now they're offended, and possibly hurt. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me. Or, rather, I can, but it would take a lot of time and be boring and I don't have the attention span for that, so you'll have to just take my word for it.

When that moment comes, when your friend has just said some variation of "Look, this is serious and I'm serious and you're mean!" the polite response is, of course, to be oh so very contrite. But... don't you secretly wish you were instead saying "Okay, I apologize, here, let me put my serioushat on. Now we can converse," as you pull out a ridiculously awesome chicken hat and put it on? I know I do, and now I can, because one week ago today, I got my ridiculously awesome chicken hat. His name is Birdinand and he not only keeps my ears warm, but he also has the best comebacks any serioushat ever did have, which he illustrated on our very first day together.

Conversation went something like this -
Friend: Just so you know, I'm totally judging you for your bird hat right now.
Me: Well that's okay, because Birdinand is judging you too, and he finds your personality to be just like your beanie: Bland.

And that's how Birdinand earned his name, more or less.